First Week Back

Some things that stuck out in my mind during my first week back in the States:

1) The grocery store has LOTS of options!
2) I can turn right on red.
3) There are lots of giant pickup trucks in Indiana.
4) They allow rusty boxes on wheels (that some people call cars) on the road.
5) I can shop after 8pm...and on Sundays!
6) Even when it's 95 degrees outside, I still need a sweater to walk in a building.
7) I really missed my shower radio!
8) Stairs are hidden here, but elevators are readily available.

Chaos at Rome Airport

Here's a detailed look at my day in the Rome airport trying to get back to Stuttgart:

Had to leave the cruise ship Sunday morning at 6:45 to catch our shuttle bus to the airport so Greg would be there in plenty of time for his 11:50am flight. His US Airways flight was out of terminal 5 but my German Wings flight left at 5:05pm from terminal 3. We thought we'd be able to spend a few hours together waiting so I went with him on the shuttle bus to terminal 5. I waited in a chair in the back of this warehouse-looking terminal talking to another woman who had been on our cruise. After about 15 minutes, Greg came rushing over and said he'd been done for 10 minutes but they wouldn't let him out of the checked-in passenger area to come tell me and he couldn't get my attention from across the room. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go any farther than that without my own ticket in hand, so we had to part ways about 8:15am.

I had some trouble figuring out how to get to terminal 3 because I don't understand Italian and the signage wasn't great in general, but I finally made it. On the way to the airport, our tour guide said the shopping was better at the main terminal so I tried to waste some time going there as well, but found out most of the shops were beyond the security checkpoint, which I couldn't go through without a boarding pass. Bummer.

While I was waiting, I read a lot from this great book an international transition specialist gave me called something like "I'm a Stranger Here Too" (sorry I can't remember the title now), which is about a guy who lived in England for 20 years before returning to his home country, the States. I also listened to some music, did lots of people watching and even took a 30-minute nap leaning on my suitcase at one point. There was a LOT of time to kill and the airport's too far away from town to get a taxi for a quick tour.

I kept my eyes on the flight status monitors and when I saw desk number 224 pop up for my flight , I got in line and waited with the other people, who didn't speak German or English, but nodded when I asked if that line was for Stuttgart. Of course, it wasn't, which I realized after 40 or so minutes. So I waited elsewhere for a bit until I saw a new line forming in the same area, which was indeed for the Stuttgart flight according to the English and German speaking folks there, and I was third from the front.

While the TV screen in front of the line still showed the details from a flight to Russia (where those other folks were going), me and my fellow line-holders were confident the electronic board had put us in the right place, until we saw a monitor three desks down pop up the German Wings logo. By the time we knew what hit us, we were joining a new line somewhere in the 25th to 30th position. On the up side, I met a cool Norweigen man and his 15-year-old son, who both spoke great English and entertained me for a while with details of all their travels around the world.

After a long wait in that line, I finally got my boarding pass, which took about 30 seconds, then I skated through the security check with no beeps, although I'm not sure anyone was actually paying attention to my bags or anything else anyway. Quite a laissez-faire style of monitoring if you ask me.

I walked down lots of halls wasting time by checking every shop that wasn't a designer brand and bought a cute little mug shaped like a Vespa scooter in the colors of the Italian flag with the word Italia on the side. It's kind of cartoony, but will be a great addition to my cup/glass collection during my European travels.

I found my way to gate D10 and snagged an empty seat, but when I got up to check the flight status after our boarding time had passed, I unfortunately lost that great seat and was sentenced to life on the cold, hard floor until the flight before ours (a Paris flight already more then two hours delayed) was ready to queue.

Our flight was set back 30 minutes according to the monitor, but based on all the disgruntled Paris waiters around me, my optimism that it would only be a 30-minute delay was non-existent.

While I was on the floor, there was one announcement after another that flights were delayed or moved to other gates. It was like the operators were forced to list a gate, but whenever a plane actually came in, they just said, hmmmmm....where can we put it? And tons of people were sitting on the floor, which wasn't the cleanest airport floor I had seen before, and I kept thinking to myself, this could never happen in Germany. The structure and proper communication methods were less than stellar.

Thank goodness I had met that Norweigen guy earlier, because I saw him walk up to the counter, then quickly grab his bags and head elsewhere. I asked another Stuttgart passenger what was going on and word was quickly spreading that our gate number had changed...with no announcement! Just as we all made it down the long hallway to the gate D1, they were lining up to board just after 5pm.

Boarding wasn't so bad, but once the door of the plane was closed, the pilot came over the loudspeaker to announce that air traffic control was having some trouble getting us into the take-off schedule, so we had to wait another 10 minutes before even pulling away from our gate. Ugh.

From that point on, things were pretty smooth, but I'll certainly think twice before booking any future flights though Italy, especially ones with connections!

You're Free to Go

There will be more posts soon about my recent cruise around the Mediterranean and my upcoming trip to Barcelona, but for now I wanted to share my travel partner's airport story from his trip back from Rome. Here's his response when I asked, "How was your trip home?"

I got home okay at about 9 pm, but my luggage didn't make the connecting flight in Philly. I had a two hour layover, but we sat for 30 minutes on the tarmac before going to the gate, then the immigration line was long, and then- get this- I got pulled out for a "secondary screening"! I had to sit in a security office for 15 minutes while they huddled and looked at computers and then finally told me that they had a watch out for an individual and well, my name is "Smith" and I was traveling alone and I was born in a foreign country, and well, you're not the guy we're looking for, so here's your passport, you're free to go. Wow! By this time my flight was already boarding and I hadn't gotten my bags, been through customs, re-checked the bags, been through the security line again, or found my gate. I thought there was no way I was going to make the connecting flight. Somehow I made it through all that stuff, SPRINTED through the terminal and made the flight as they were closing the door. Whew! They should be delivering the bags today.

Smile! You're 30!

It's just a few hours before my 30th birthday and I have a smile on my face.
Why shouldn't I?

1. I've spent the last 14 months in an amazing country learning about the world, myself and what's important in life. 
2. I'm moving back home soon to reconnect with my family and friends.
3. I'm starting an amazing, new "big-girl" job in a month.
4. I'm healthier now than I've ever been and I own 3 bikinis! WHO AM I?
5. I decided to splurge and go big with a present to myself, so I'm going on a Mediterranean Sea cruise with an amazing friend next week and we're going to have a BLAST!
6. If I get carded, I can be flattered by it.
7. I have stopped trying to find myself and have started creating myself.
8. Even as I age and get wrinkles, I will always be younger than my sister.
9. I don't have to wait for birthdays and Christmas. I can buy my own toys!
10. I can blame past mistakes on "being young and stupid."

There are lots more great things about turning 30 tomorrow, but now I must go to bed. I need some rest before all of the fun birthday activities we have planned!

How's your German coming along?

I get this question all the time, but don't know how to answer.

To put it into perspective, I know somewhere between 500 and 1,000 German words, which may seem like a lot, but to be honest, most of that is food names and basic kid stuff, like colors, numbers, animals, etc. And the full German language consists of about 40,000 words, so I'm only brushing the surface really.

It makes it pretty difficult to have an adult conversation in German, when the only verbs I know are those on a typical elementary spelling test (jump, know, speak, learn, listen, order, visit, etc.).

The good thing is, I can talk to little kids pretty well. Once I learned phrases like "are you ok?," "ready, set go," and "watch out for cars," it was easy to communicate with them in most situations.

Am I fluent? Absolutely not!! When people start talking to me, I usually lost, but I can order food in a restaurant, call to make an appointment, ask for things in a shop and play outside with children. Of course, my German learning could have been much better this year, but I'd say, all in all, it was a good effort and result for my short time here.

I understand only "Train Station"

I learned a GREAT German phrase recently that's come in pretty handy.

I was explaining to my students that most Americans know the word "Gesundheit" and that sometimes we say it when we don't understand what someone says. For example, if someone mumbles their words or talks really fast and you missed something, you might say, "Gesundheit. Did you say something?" My students thought that was hilarious!

So to return the favor, they explained to me that their equivalent is "Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof," which literally translates to "I understand only train station," when in reality they didn't understand anything the person just said.

Now I use that phrase all the time, because I often don't understand what people are saying to me in German. I can start a conversation or ask a question, but if I say it correctly and the people think I'm fluent, I usually get responses I can't understand and then I have to stop them and explain how bad my German is. It's a bit frustrating, but my new phrase has made it a bit more bearable!!

Thank You Dr. Taylor

While there are many people I need to thank for helping me get where I am today, now is a great time to thank one special person who made this German adventure possible and helped me realize there's a whole world out there to discover.

One day in an MBA faculty meeting, which I attended as a student representative, Dr. Taylor said the staff should try harder to allow graduate students to study abroad for short-term exchange programs. The idea mostly fell on deaf ears as there were lots of other priorities to worry about, but I went straight to him after the meeting and asked how I could help make it happen. I wanted to be one of those students and I wanted to make it possible for others as well!

For weeks I worked with our program director and exchange program coordinator to try and find something to fit in our lock-step (less than flexible) curriculum. And we did it!!! We found a great two-week seminar called "Doing Business in the Enlarged European Union" at the HHL Graduate School of Management in Leipzig, Germany. The participants spent one week in Leipzig, located in eastern Germany, and one week in Prague, Czech Republic. These are both areas that were part of the expanded EU, and are gaining steam and catching up with the western cultures. The students learned how they are progressing and how to enter the market for interested businesses.

We were able to work out a partnership with HHL and three students from my class, including myself, participated in the program overseas. It was an amazing experience!

That alone would have been enough to broaden my horizons since I had never stepped foot outside the country, but Dr. Taylor was kind enough to introduce me to another eye opening international experience.

Our school has a joint program with a German company to allow working German professionals to earn a US-based MBA by taking some classes in the States and some in Germany. When the German students came to our campus, my cohort was invited to join the students for their leadership class. Again, being the opportunist that I am, I jumped at the chance and nearly killed myself taking a double load of classes from 9-3 all day and 6-9 in the evenings. That only lasted a week and a half and, of course, I survived, so it wasn't the end of the world. Those few days were rough, but worth it as I was able to see an international perspective on business, leadership and management.

Plus, that's what I met Alfons, Peter, Andreas, Nils and Thorsten (aka team SeaValley). These guys (along with Dr. Taylor's encouragement) convinced me to move to Germany after graduation, and the rest, as they say, is history! (And I suppose that takes you back to where my blog begins.)

So thanks again, Dr. Taylor, for leading me in the right direction and offering so much support. My life will never be the same!!!

Gute Fahrt!

Yes, you read the headline correctly! This is actually just the simple phrase Germans use in place of "have a nice trip."

Gute, of course, means good, and the noun fahrt in German is like our words journey, trip, drive, etc. So when someone leaves a parking garage or lot, there are usually signs that say "Gute Fahrt!"

And if that wasn't enough for you, don't be shocked when you see signs on the Autobahn for entrance, which is Einfahrt (in-drive), and exit, which is Ausfahrt (out-drive).

Say it again in your head and feel free to giggle. I did. :-)

Road Trip!!!

Our itinerary from a fun-filled 4-day journey!

Friday in Munich
Emotional visit to Dachau Concentration Camp
Drinks at the Hofbrauhaus - Most famous tent at Oktoberfest

Saturday to Swiss Alps
Quick walk and lunch on Lindau Island on Bodensee, Germany
Drove across Austria along Bodensee border
Detoured to Lichtenstein (a tiny little country)
Headed into Swiss Alps toward Chur, Switzerland
Crashed at hostel with crazy music thumping all night

Sunday across Switzerland
Went up cable car in Disentis to see Alps from above
Crazy curves driving through Alps from east to west
Stopped at Lucerne Sea for lunch in Beckenried
Saw people swimming down the river in Basel
Crashed in Mulhouse, France

Monday back to Germany
Stopped in Thann, France looking for wineries (no luck)
Met some Bostonians in Freiburg at the lookout tower
Drove through the Black Forest to reach home

Road Trip with "Strangers"

When I moved out on my own in May and realized I might not be in Germany much longer, I reached out to some friends who I thought would really enjoying visiting while I was still there. Unfortunately, most of my friends either have kids, no extra play money or not enough vacation time available to jump on a plane to Germany with little notice, but one of my guy friends, who happened to be an ex from many years ago, was interested. I figured he would be because he loves fast cars, nature and good beer, which is why I reached out to invite him! (Please understand there were no other intentions regarding the invitation.)

So I invited him about four weeks in advance of the perfect timing to have visitors and he proceeded to explain that he had just started dating someone and that if it got serious quickly, it could be awkward that he was visiting an ex in Germany while dating someone else. Without hesitation I said, "bring her!" So after explaining the opportunity to her (starting with "I know this sounds crazy, but...") and spending four days convincing her the invitation was real, she finally agreed to join him.

A few weeks later, they arrived and 90% of the trip was great. She's really smart, considerate, funny...really great! My only frustration was that I was forced to act like the guy was a stranger. After making a few comments when he arrived about how much he would love Germany (for the reasons mentioned above), he came to me while she was in the shower and said, "You know me much better than she does since we haven't been dating very long, so..." I finished his sentence by saying, "...so don't rub it in, right?" I was right on target. While I certainly wasn't planning to bring up our past experiences from the two and half years we were together saying "remember when we...," I felt like I had to play dumb and act as though I didn't know the people he was telling stories about or the fact that he hates onions. I couldn't ask how his family was doing or if his little brother liked college. I also couldn't talk about my family or friends without explaining the relationships (i.e. my sister Leah) in fear that it would look like he already knew my friends and family fairly well, which he did.

Also, I had this nagging feeling that she didn't WANT to like me. I felt like anytime we had differing opinions, she was quick to tell me why she disagreed, which was fine, but she seemed quite competitive about it. And I'm just not a competitive person, in general, so you can have your opinion and I'll have mine. The world will still turn, despite our two different perspectives.

So a week or so after their visit, I spoke with the guy, thanked him for visiting and wished him luck in his new relationship. I mentioned my disappointment in not getting to catch up with him as old friends typically would and he understood. I also told him how great I thought his new girlfriend was and he responded saying, "She didn't want to like you. But she did." Hmmmm....I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to interpret a comment like that.

But, alas, what did I expect when I invited an ex and his new girlfriend to go on a road trip through Switzerland for four days together??? Awkwardness aside, I'm so glad I had the opportunity to walk away with some great memories from that incredible road trip!

My Early Blunder

Now that I live with an American family who has figured out a nice way to blend the German and American cultures here, I realize that I made a terrible mistake when I first arrived in Germany.

I knew I wouldn't be able to work for the first few months and that I'd have a lot of free time on my hands. When I was asked if I wanted to get an English TV package from the cable provider, I declined for the reason that I didn't want the temptation of sitting on the couch all day everyday last summer. While it's possible that was a good decision at the start of my transition, I realize now that having that comfort and connection to my own culture could have made a tremendous difference in my experience here.

There were times when I felt alone or disconnected from home and had only CNN and BBC telling me stories about conflict around the world. It wasn't even US-specific stuff. And yes, I know I also had the internet, but I'm not a technically savvy enough to know how to block my IP address so the American TV stations don't know I'm in Germany. Every time I tried to go to a website to watch a TV series I knew and loved, my laptop said I couldn't view the content from my location. It was very frustrating.

The family I live with gets American food on the base and has a British TV package, which includes many of our American shows as well. It's so comforting after a bad day to eat Honey Nut Cheerios and have a great sitcom to help you escape.

The Birds & The Bees

I just heard there are no bears in Germany! Well, my students told me there was once a bear in Germany, but it just escaped from Italy by accident.

Also, they have no lightning bugs here, so the kids never get to experience running around the yard to catch them  only with the goal of seeing the soft glow on the concrete as you squish them under your sneakers on the pavement! My sister said Dad also used to put the lights on her fingernails to make them glow. I don't remember that, but it was her favorite lightning bug memory.

They have a really cool bird here in our area too that I've never seen before (and no one seems to know its name so I can't find a picture of it online). It hovers over the fields and glides more than it flaps its wings. It can amazingly stay in one place for a long time with its wings stretched out to the limit. The best part is its tail that twists and turns like a rudder while it's hovering. That's why Leah and I named it "The Rudder Bird."

Also, when Leah and Nick were visiting, a few of us were standing outside our Zurich hotel late one night when a fox ran through the parking lot just a few meters from us! It was amazing to see him so close. And he was FAST!

As far as pets go, dogs, cats and fish are typical here, just like in the States. I know a few people who have guinea pigs and several people have indoor or outdoor pet rabbits. That's a big portion of the pet store shelves, so I guess they're pretty popular.

That's my German animal wrap-up for you. :-)

Carless...(sort of)

So I had to give up my Yaris last week and things are a bit different for me now, logistically. I'm living with the most amazing American family (who have been such a blessing in my life) and they've offered me the use of their cars when they aren't being used for caravaning the four kids to soccer, baseball or Irish step dance practice. This transition meant I had to lighten my teaching load, because I can't get to some of my classes without a car and the afternoons are packed full of practices for the kids. So I recently went from teaching 35-42 hours per week to now teaching 17-25 hours per week. I feel like I'm on VACATION!!!!

And while you might be thinking the loss of hours would be tragic for me financially, you have to realize that car insurance here is unbelievably expensive compared to the States (lots of luxury vehicles on the road and NO speed limit on some parts of the highway), plus gas is $8.44 per gallon (when liters and euros are converted to gallons and dollars). So now I have no car insurance payment and little gas to pay for since I'm only driving a few times a week. The car expenses were actually the biggest part of my budget anyway, so it's working out okay...for now.

While a bit more planning is needed now for scheduling the times I need the car, not having my own car is actually not as bad as I expected. Thank goodness and God bless my new host family!

Keep Both Hands Above the Table

Germans think all Americans eat with just one hand while they put the other hand on their lap under the table and hover their chest over the plate. I didn't think it was true, until I started noticing it more and more.

They have a completely different style of eating here and it's hard to learn to eat a new way after you've been doing it one way for 29 years! Here, if you are right-handed, you keep the fork in your left hand and hold the knife in your right hand to cut and also to shovel things onto your fork. That way you don't have to use your fingers to get the last few peas onto the fork. Your knife does the work for you! They even do this when they eat salads or mashed potatoes...whatever! They also keep both hands above the table.

Try it! It's more difficult than it sounds, but you might like it after some practice!

From One Adventure to Another

This year in Germany has been an amazing journey and I am so unbelievably grateful to those who supported me in Germany and from the States throughout my time here. I will be forever changed by the things I learned here about myself and about life from my neighbors, from my students, from my surroundings, and most of all from Alfons.

So now it's time to go back to where I belong, in a country that understands me and smiles back.

I have no details yet about my future as this decision was just made and I'm still grieving about what I'm walking away from here, but all I know is it's time I must wrap up the last chapter of this adventure and begin writing a new chapter soon about life's next adventure.

Thanks to everyone, especially Alfons, for everything you've done for me!!!

One Year Today

I landed in Stuttgart, Germany one year ago today. My what a year it has been! I have learned a ton about myself and about the world. And while I can't sum up everything I've learned in one post, I thought the best thing to do today would be to post an excerpt from a book I recently read about German culture. I have found these ideas to ring unbelievably true.

Rules for Dealing with Germans

Everyone is not alike!

1. Remember that Germans really hate rule breakers!

2. Germans and Americans do not think and act alike in social and business situations – especially in first encounters. Get over the myth that “we’re all basically alike.” It sounds good, but this mind-set is counterproductive.

3. Germans tend to be blunt, frank, and – to Anglo-American eyes – tactless in certain situations. They tend to correct you when you don’t want to be corrected. That’s because they are primarily concerned with exchanging facts and information, not “warm fuzziness.” Since they also do this with other Germans, try to understand that you have not been singled out for special treatment.

4. Germans aren’t into “idle chatter.” They don’t really care if you “have a nice day” (an expression they view as a symbol of American “superficiality”), and they don’t want to talk about (a) their jobs, (b) their kids or family, or (c) the weather with a stranger (i.e., anyone they haven’t known for at least a year or more). Such conversation is reserved for close friends.

5. Both the German language and the Germans draw a clear line between Freunde (friend) and Bekannter (acquaintance) and between private (home) and public (work). You are on Bekannter terms with the formal “you” until your German counterpart says otherwise. This is one of the most difficult rules for easygoing, just-call-me-Bob Americans to truly grasp and internalize.

6. Germans have been known to smile, but unnecessary smiling is frowned on. A German needs a good reason to smile. In fact, excessive smiling for most Europeans is an indication of weak-mindedness. Don’t overdo smiling around Germans. At heart, Germans are pessimists, and they enjoy their pessimism. Don’t deprive them of that pleasure. Corollary to Rule 6: Never try to tell a joke in German. Leave this to the professionals. Germans have a sense of humor, but it has no resemblance to either the American or British variety. It takes many years to delve into the German sense of humor.

7. Learn to accept Rules 1 through 6. Don’t think you can (or should) change people. Learn to adjust to them, rather than expecting them to adjust to you. If you react with indignation or anger, even privately, then you are displaying a profound lack of understanding of the culture in which you’re trying to function.

There are a few Germans who don’t fit the preceding rules, but all six of them are now living in the United States or Canada.

From: When in Germany, Do as the Germans Do: The Clued-In Guide to German Life, Language, and Culture
By: Hyde Flippo

If you don't have something nice to say...

Did anyone ever advise you as a child, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all?" I heard that all the time as I blabbed anything that came to mind when I was young. The adults in my life were teaching me how to filter my thoughts and keep from hurting other people's feelings...I think.

Well, that mantra is not appreciated or understood here in Germany. In fact, it could be a big reason why many Europeans view Americans as "fake." Many Germans I know feel that Americans would rather lie to you than tell you something negative, but they don't know our mantra from above. Children here in Germany are taught to just toughen up and take the honest criticism without crying. It's expected and not considered inappropriate to tell people how you really feel. There's no sugar coating necessary and it's your parents' fault if you are too sensitive.

Later in my life (thanks to good mentors), I learned how to express negative information in a fairly tactful way...although it still sometimes hurts feelings and of course my definition of tactful may differ from others'. I do think it's important to be honest in life, but there is also no reason to hurt feelings if you can avoid it, right?

So, now it's time to think about the implications of being honest vs. a forced positive response. Are there times when one is better than the other, or should we strive to be consistent in our opinion giving efforts? If we must choose, which is better across cultures?

I honestly believe most Americans would come to Germany and quickly get their feelings hurt by the harsh reality of other's opinions. So is it something I am supposed to learn and accept or do I seek the easy road of gumdrops and cherries asking only Americans to be my friends here?

"Wifeless" Marriage

I couldn't sleep last night and was watching Oprah at midnight (in English with German subtitles). The show was about how marriage differs around the world. They interviewed Indian couples whose marriages had been arranged, Ukraine women who had found husbands through mail-order-bride websites, and Egyptian women who must go to court to get divorced while their husbands can merely exclaim they want a divorce three times out loud and it's done. The cultural differences were extreme and I was amazed to learn that 60% of marriages across the world are arranged with only a "hope" of loving your spouse someday. That's quite far from the American "marry of love" mantra.

Oprah also interviewed the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" who just published a new book called "Committed." The author explained that a "traditional" marriage in America is what we all picture from the '50s, but that this "traditional" marriage is merely a fairytale. She said most marriages today are "wifeless." The moms want to work and be equal, but the men don't want to pick up any of the slack while she's at the office. Everyone wants to be married, but no one wants to be the "wife" anymore.

Some folks also discussed the broader idea that many people (both men and women) don't want to fulfill the "traditional" roles in a marriage, but they still expect their partners to fulfill the role of the opposite sex. This leads to many disappointed people in the end.

As I'm inching toward 30 and considering what my future will hold, this was an extremely eye-opening perspective and explanation of a "traditional" marriage. Lots to think about.

Reactions to Bin Laden's Death

While eating breakfast one morning, I turned on CNN to hear the news that Osama Bin Laden had been shot dead by US special forces. I felt an immediate sense of relief and it nearly brought a tear to my eye as I realized the incredible closure that would bring for so many affected by the tragedy ten years ago.

I had to teach later that morning and one student asked if I had heard the news. I told him I had and that I almost cried when I heard the news. He responded by asking "You're HAPPY a man was killed?" I was so taken aback and didn't know how to respond. Of course, I wasn't "happy," so I took a breath and explained as diplomatically as possible that thousands of Americans lost their mothers, sons, brothers and friends in 2001 and this is something we've waited for for ten years. The students just shook their heads in disbelief that I was okay with how the situation was handled by the military.

In Germany, capital punishment was abolished many, many years ago and the general mentality here is that there's no justifiable reason to take anyone's life...even that of an enemy. Some Americans certainly feel that way as well, but I would say the most common opinion in America is that one murder doesn't deserve the death penalty, while a planned mass murder, such as what happened on 9/11, is justifiable.

So I described that perspective to the students and explained that we still have the death penalty. They still didn't budge and had a very judgmental look on their faces as if we are WAY behind the times.

While most folks here are not too moved by the news, a few German folks I know said things like, "Oh thanks, USA. Now Germany has to ramp up security in fear of retaliation too, since we've been on your side this whole time."

I think it's interesting that no one here has said "good job, US" or "it's about time," which seems to be the general sentiments from home (based on the FB posts I'm reading).

Happy Easter!

I haven't disappeared. I'm just super busy!

Right now, I'm teaching 14 classes every week and I have four one-on-one clients who schedule their classes with me whenever they're not travelling for work. It's pretty hectic planning all my lessons for groups ranging from beginner to upper-intermediate every week plus driving from one company to another everyday, so I've been neglecting the blog lately. But I promise I have been keeping notes. I've actually started several blog posts, but haven't had the time to polish and post them. So don't worry, because there are lots of more stories to come about my adventures here this spring, including my trip to Dublin in March.

Forgive my continued absence, I'm going to Budapest for the long weekend and then my sister and her boyfriend will be here the following week. So it's still going to be a while before I can finish those posts.

I'll be back when I can. :-) Happy Easter!

By the way, Easter is EXACTLY the same here in Germany. Colored eggs, chocolate bunnies and lots of extra church services for the C&E crowd! The only difference is that they call it "Ostern" (Ost = East), so everyone tells me, "Happy Eastern!" So cute.

Secret Test Drives

We live close to the original Mercedes manufacturing plant and tons of people in our area work there. We have a very good friend who tells all kinds of cool stories about the company policies and procedures. For example, they cannot bring a thumb-drive USB stick to work without getting authorization first. They're very tight with their security regarding confidential information and they're very serious about it...as they should be!

Another interesting thing is how they test drive the new cars that haven't been launched into the market yet. In addition to tests done on company-created tracks, car makers need to get the new models out on the road in real conditions, but they don't want to reveal the new designs to the public, or more importantly to competitors, so they often disguise the car using shaped plastic pieces and/or big leather blankets. They put the plastic pieces around the headlights or the bumper to conceal the real shape of the vehicle, then they usually wrap a leather blanket around the whole thing. Most people who see it on the road can't even tell what brand of car it is after the costume goes on.

So far, I've seen two of these cars in our area and I was astonished both times as I tried to figure out why the car was wearing a blanket! I wish I had some photos to add to this post, but it's obviously difficult (and dangerous) to snap a shot on the road while you're driving. So...I googled the topic and found this great video that explains the story and shows an example.
http://videos.howstuffworks.com/medialink/7737-secret-car-disguises-video.htm

Our friend at Mercedes said there's a big pool of cars that employees can "check out" for company use, but she said they don't get to choose the vehicle, so sometimes it might be a great E-class and other times you might get one of these new plastic-covered models that the factory wants to test. She hates getting one of those because everyone on the road stares...just like I did!

Career vs. Family

Below is an interesting article about the declining birth rate in Germany and the perceived importance of career over family. What's even more interesting are the comments below the article.

A little background info: A few years back, the German government decided to offer women a substantial part of their salary if they have a child and stay home for the first year. Plus, the woman's company has to hold her job for three years if she wants to come back. Germany did this to ease the pain for working women to have kids. By the way, they think a tiny 8- or 12-week maternity leave time if CRAZY!!!

If you have a few minutes, take a look at the article. The comments are incredible!

http://www.thelocal.de/society/20110217-33183.html?utm_source=email&utm_medium=email&utm_content=177

Billionen Does NOT Equal Billion

You must be super careful in Germany when talking numbers. Not only do they use the metric system for everything (no inches, feet, miles and gallons here), but they also have different words for very large numbers over a million. And they SOUND similar, but check out these crucial differences:

million = millionen
billion = milliarden
trillion = billionen
quadrillion = billiarden
quintillion = trillionen

So last night at my tax appointment when we were discussing my millions and billions of dollars I earned this year and want to invest, we had to clarify! (Just kidding.)

Alfons and I always joke about who made the right choice hundreds or thousands of years ago when we find big differences in our culture, such as these. While Europeans certainly made the right call embracing the metric system, which is WAY easier to learn, remember and use, I argued that America got this one right with the big numbers. After all, if you start with a million as #1, when you get to a quadrillion that would be #4, then quintillion #5 and so on. According to the system the Germans use, quadrillion and quadrilliarden are #7 and #8, which doesn't make much sense! Point for America!!!

When Did American History Start?

DISCLAIMER: I am not, have never been, and never will be a history buff. Please understand these opinions come from person who's history grades in school were below average and many assumptions are made. I share this as a typical, ignorant view point which is likely to have factual mistakes. I'm writing this for my memories and apologize if anyone thinks it's ridiculous! Bear with me and don't stop reading my blog. :-)

Today, I saw a castle near one of the companies I teach at and I made a comment to my students that we don't have any castles in America. I explained why that's something lots of tourists want to see when they come to Germany because the history is so rich here, unlike our little 250-year-old baby country!

After a few minutes of discussing Germany's history of kings and empires, one of my students asked how far back American history goes in the classroom. He asked if we learn much about the Native Americans...before the Europeans showed up. I thought about it and realized that I couldn't recall going past the 1700s in our basic American history books. I assume this may be in part because we don't have as many records of the Native American times. For example, since they wanted to live as part of the Earth rather than building it into something man-made, there's little infrastructure to analyze. And while there were probably lots of stories passed down from generation to generation, I assume there probably wasn't a lot of written documentation from that time that lasted through the centuries.

I explained that we learned about the relationships between the Native Americans and Europeans in school, but that the history of our "nation" as a group of people united together under one government or set of rules started after the Europeans arrived. The history of the land itself and the people who lived there, of course, goes back far earlier than that, but for whatever reasons, that's not included in most textbooks. Although I must assume there are TONS of other pieces of literature documenting the time, people, culture and experiences of those tribes.

My Request

This is a request to my readers who have lived overseas, particularly in Germany. Please leave a comment or send me an email about one memory you have from your time abroad. It can be a thought that was triggered by something I blogged about or anything that I haven't mentioned!

I've been sharing my stories and now I want to hear yours! Do tell!!!

Convenience Doesn't Exist

There is no German word equivalent to "convenience," which makes sense because nothing here is convenient. They translate the English word as easy or comfortable, but Americans know the TRUE meaning of convenience (although most take it for granted).

1. Need something last minute for a project due the next day? Wal-Mart is open!
2. Have kids in car seats, but need to cash a check? Drive-thru at the bank!
3. Hungry for a quick bite between work and school? McD's is everywhere!
4. Exhausted from a road trip, but you realize your tank's empty at 1am? No problem, the pumps take cards 24-hours a day!

Here in Germany, convenience is hard to find. Nearly all stores close at 8pm, very little is open on Sundays, only McDonald's and Burger King have drive-thrus (none at banks, drug stores, etc.), and you're required to recycle, but you have to haul the stuff to the recycling place on your own. Okay, so they pick up the paper and organic stuff outside your house, but plastic, cans, and glass must be taken to a recycling site, which could be a few villages away.

Believe it or not, without "convenience," life here is still good! You just need to plan ahead.

At the Corner of...

Heard a funny story that I must share! (Forgive me for the details won't be exact, but I'll improvise to give you the main idea.)

A German woman I met last night said her company lent 20 Mini Coopers to some foreigners to drive from Stuttgart into the Black Forest for an event the company was hosting there. Unfortunately, one of the cars had a problem and broke down after the event, so that driver hitched a ride from one of the other Mini drivers he knew. Neither one spoke German, but they knew they would need to remember where they left the car so they could tell the company when they got back to Stuttgart. They couldn't figure out what village they were in, but at least they found some street signs, so they wrote down that the car was at the corner of Umleitung and Einbahnstrasse.

When they returned to the office in Stuttgart, they were embarrassed to discover their broken down Mini Cooper was somewhere in the Black Forest at the corner of "detour" and "one-way street!"

Hello, Goodbye!

Expats are people who live and work outside their home country. They might be visiting for just a few months on a special project for work, they may be working for a year as an au pair (nanny) or they may stick around for decades and fully integrate into the new culture. Meeting other expats in your area is a great way to find English-speaking friends in a new place, so I've joined some online groups that schedule events once in a while for people to meet. I've made several very good friends in my first eight months through these groups and am really happy to get to know people from countries around the world!

Unfortunately, the reality of that situation also means that people don't usually stay here forever. Last week, I took a great friend to the Stuttgart airport and had to say goodbye since she's going back to the States. While we have Facebook and Skype to help us stay in touch down the road, it's not the same as going out for Chinese food or watching Harry Potter together on a lazy Monday afternoon when I don't have to teach. I'll certainly miss those days with her.

But with goodbyes, also comes more hellos. A friend of a friend has contacted me and she'll be moving from the States to the Stuttgart area in a couple weeks. We've exchanged a few emails as she prepares for her big transition to a new culture and I'm really looking forward to meeting her. Her brother is stationed here and I'm sure she'll be able to make friends through him, but I assume it'll also be nice to getaway for some girl time too!

I try to stay positive in this revolving door situation, so I just dream about the time when I'm making loads of cash down the road, and then I'll have the money and free time to visit all my old Stuttgart pals who live in fabulous places around the world!!!

It's Not My Fault!

Another big difference between German culture and that the States is the level of responsibility expected here.

1. If you leave your car or home unlocked and someone goes in to take things, it's your fault! Insurance doesn't have to cover the losses.

2. If you have a car accident because you were admittedly messing with the radio buttons or putting on make-up, it's your fault. Insurance doesn't have to cover the repairs.

3. If you come here from another country and don't know the rules for driving, but do something unintentionally wrong, it's your fault. You'll still get a ticket and/or get deported. There's no talking your way out of that one!

4. If you fall down in the grocery store because there was a puddle of water on the floor, it's your fault. You should have been watching where you were going! Nobody's going to admit they were so stupid as to slip on some water, and they CERTAINLY wouldn't sue the grocery store for it. They'd look like an idiot!

5. If you don't put snow tires on your car (which is a law) before the first snow or ice comes and you get in a car accident on a cold day, it's your fault! The insurance can, again, refuse to pay for the damages.

Their motto here is "ignorance is not an excuse!" That's pretty intimidating for someone coming into a new country will lots of unknown rules. Most new people make mistakes (knowingly or unknowingly), but are lucky and just don't get caught. Me, on the other hand, I had a German rules professional in the house letting me know what was expected and what I couldn't do.

For example, a few months ago, when I suggested driving with my American license for just a few days after my six-month grace period (if I didn't get my German driving license in time), I was told "NO WAY" because if I got in an accident, the insurance wouldn't cover it and I could be deported for not following the German rules. There would be no chance of explaining the situation that my German license was in the works and that I'd have it in a few days. A rule is a rule here and smooth-talking abilities are not helpful! While I had a hard time believing the consequences would be so drastic, I kept reminding myself it's always better to be safe than sorry. (And thank goodness I got my German license with just one day to spare!)

For these reasons, many Germans business professionals call the US the "Risky States of America," because any "Joe" can do something stupid (intentionally or unintentionally) and sue your company for everything it's worth! The US court system has forced companies to put "DO NOT..." labels on every product, even to describe uses that the product was not intended for. Why should a microwave box have to say "Do not put live animals in microwave?" How are companies supposed to think of every possible use for the product that crazy people might try and put a warning label on for it? Whose responsibility is it to use the product properly? Why should McDonald's have to say "Caution: Coffee is hot" on the window, when that's EXACTLY what you ordered...a hot cup of coffee!!!

While most Americans also think these types of lawsuits are crazy, the cases would never have gotten off the ground here in Germany. Most Germans teach their children to take responsibility for their actions and not blame others for their mistakes or accidents. It's quite a different mentality than the popular American blame game slogan "It's not my fault!"

How's the Weather?

In general, Germans are not good at small talk. Most think it's superficial and say if you don't have something valuable to contribute to the conversation, you shouldn't say anything at all (especially to a stranger). They think it's funny that Americans who call their office always ask, "So, how's the weather in Germany?"

In fact, many Germans view Americans as superficial, not really wanting to build a true relationship, but instead just get the sale (in business anyway). So I have to teach my students (CEOs and the like) how to small talk comfortably, without laughing. I'm not kidding.

A student told me an interesting story yesterday that was a great teaching tool for me. He was in Chicago for a big conference and was waiting for a taxi, as most other conference attendees were also doing. A bunch of folks were hollering out their destination so they could share rides. He heard someone say "anyone going downtown?" so he jumped into a stretch limo with this guy and a few of his colleagues. They immediately started asking where he worked, where he lived and how the weather was there. At first, he was a little taken aback my their intrusion, but he answered and followed along with their stories about being stationed in Germany decades ago and having a grandmother who came to America from Germany. He said the folks just kept talking, asked lots of questions, made jokes and laughed a lot. He finished his story by smiling and saying, "I had never seen the guy before and have never seen him since, but we exchanged business cards hoping to work together someday."

After he told me the story, I asked if he still thought small talk was such a bad thing. He had changed his mind and said he really enjoyed that limo trip downtown, even if no business came from it. He finally understood that small talk has its place.

Should I Say "You" or "You?"

In some languages, there are two different words for "you." Spanish, for example, has "tu" and "usted," and it's sometimes hard for English speakers to know when to use which "you." Unfortunately for me, the German language also has two, "du" (the informal) and "Sie" (the formal - notice the capitalization!).

Relationship distance is very important in German business and colleagues are not encouraged to be friends, so most offices stick with "Sie" when addressing one another, even if they are at an equal status. Who knows, one person may get promoted down the road and become the boss of the other, and you can't switch back to the formal "Sie" after you've made the decision to use the informal "du." That's where it gets weird!

As I learn more German, I must remember both forms, but when I practice my German, it's always with Alfons, friends, children in the neighborhood or in my class where we always use "du." I know the "Sie" form, but my brain immediately goes to the informal when I'm trying to form sentences or questions.

So one day, just before Christmas, I was shopping in a kitchen store with Alfons. We were searching for a nice can opener for his mom. I didn't know the word for can opener, so Alfons told me and I agreed to ask someone working in the shop. So I found an older lady and asked "Hast du ein Dosenöffner?" BAD CARA!!! The lady didn't answer my question and immediately raised her voice back at me saying things I couldn't understand...but Alfons could. He jumped in front of me and started talking back to her in German. I really had no idea what was going on (at the time).


When we left the store, I asked Alfons what just happened and he said, "She was really pissed at you because you used "du" instead of "Sie." I thought that was ridiculous since I'm just learning German and she should have known that by my horrible pronunciation. He said that to the woman (during her rant) and she responded, "Well, she needs to tell people her German is bad before she just calls people 'du!'" I couldn't believe she got so upset with me.

A few other bad things had happened that day, so this was the last straw for me and I broke down and cried, right in the mall. I was TRYING to practice my German in a real situation and I thought that was a good thing. I NEVER intended to offend anyone or get yelled at for asking if the store sells can openers.


In fact, I had said "Hast du..." a few times at other places, but the people didn't care. My friends would say "use 'Sie,' Cara," but the person always said it was no big deal and they would praise my elementary German skills. There are still some people who are very traditional, and that mentality includes a social hierarchy where you still speak to your elders more politely than to those your own age.

Well, now I know better and won't make that mistake again. Maybe if they new English, they'd understand there's only one 'you' and I'm not being disrespectful. I'm just learning!

Eight Months and Counting

Perhaps I should elaborate a bit more on my last post. To be honest, I was so busy that day I didn't have time to sit and put all my thoughts on paper, but I wanted to say something so I wouldn't forget the feeling I had that day.

When I moved from southern Indiana to Indianapolis at age 17, I called Louisville "home." After college, I got a job in Indianapolis and when I bought my house there in 2005, I called Indianapolis "home." While I don't know where life will take me in the future or how long exactly I'll be in Germany, I'm so happy to finally feel more "at home" here...after eight months.

When we landed in Stuttgart eight months ago, I was exhausted from the flight, from all the packing, and from saying goodbye to my dearest friends and family. Arriving in May was both exciting and unbelievably scary at the same time. I was glad to finally make it, but uncertain of what the near future would bring. I had sold my house, my car, my furniture and all but 15 boxes of memories stored in my mom's garage, and I really had no idea what this experience would be like, but I knew it was going to be an adventure!

When we landed in Stuttgart two weeks ago, after a wonderful trip back the Indiana to visit "home," I had a new feeling of comfort, relief and pride. I thought about how far I had come in my first eight months. No, I still don't really speak German, but now I know how to read the settings on the washing machine, I understand where I am allowed to park and for how long, and I have some German friends who like to speak English with me and love when I practice the new German words I learned in my class the night before. These may be little things, but they caused a lot of stress and loneliness in the beginning. Finally, things are falling into place and I'm feeling more "at home" in Germany, which is important since I plan to stay for a while!

I won't lie and say this journey's been easy, but it's really nice to feel so much more comfort and accomplishment now versus when I started this adventure. I still have a long way to go to feel comfortable in new situations and surroundings, but at least my daily routines aren't scary anymore. That's a huge step!

Home Sweet Home

This may sound strange, but after going "home" for the holidays, I now have a more comfortable, "at home" feeling in Germany. It's nice to have lots of places to call "home."

Stupid Jet Lag!

We fly from Indy to Boston from 12:30pm to 3-ish on Friday. We were supposed to leave Boston in route to Paris at 5:20pm, but the plane was delayed two hours to start and then eventually departed about three hours late due to the de-icing process and who knows what. That meant we would be way late for our morning flight from Paris to Stuttgart, which we knew in Boston so they went ahead and booked us on the next flight to Stuttgart at noon (in place of our original 7am flight).

I must remind you that on your way TO the US from Europe you gain six hours, which is no biggie because you fly during the day, watch some movies on the plane, nap a little, then you're excited to arrive so staying up late is no big deal. Flying BACK to Europe from the US is a whole different ballgame. During our three flights, I was expected to get a full night's sleep AND lose six hours of my day.

While sleeping on a plane is typically no trouble for me, this 6 1/2-hour flight from Boston to Paris (where I was supposed to sneak in a long nap) was different.

1. I was tired when we first got on the plane, but I knew they were serving dinner about an hour after take-off AND the movie Toy Story 3 was on, so I felt compelled to stay up and watch it since I had been wanting to see that movie since it premiered. (My mistake!)

2. Then, there was a baby (later learned she was 3-ish) crying for hours a few rows back and while Alfons had fancy noise-canceling headphones on, my foam earphones were not enough to mask the terror.

3. Behind me on the plane was a big guy who every time he wanted to get up or adjust himself in his seat, he would grab my seat and use it to pull himself up! Alfons said I was too nice in not saying something to the guy, but he only did it about once an hour (coincidentally just before I was about to fall asleep), plus the guy spoke Spanish, so I wasn't sure if I should address him in English, German or body language only. I chose none of the above.

4. Finally, I know lots of people think Restless Leg Syndrome is a made-up disease, but my grandma had it, my mom has it once in a while, and I have it...but only on very rare occasions. About two or three times a year, I have this horrible feeling in my legs that is not painful, but ridiculously annoying. It's the feeling that I cannot get comfortable no matter what position I sit or lie in. My feet and legs were not really tingling or throbbing, but there was this strange sensation that kept telling my my brain, "move your legs!"

With all these distractions, sleeping on the Transatlantic flight just wasn't an option. So I slept on a cafe bench in the Paris airport for a while once we arrived.

Unfortunately, it's now Tuesday evening and last night I didn't fall asleep until 4am. I watched TV until 12:30, then tossed and turned in bed all night!!! I suppose the nap on Monday wasn't a good idea, but I'm not feeling so well and didn't have the strength to do anything else yesterday after I taught from 7:30am to noon.

Here's hoping for a good night's sleep tonight...no napping today!

Reverse Culture Shock

In Germany, I can't eavesdrop because my German isn't good enough to understand people. Over time, I've adjusted to quit trying to understand them, so the background conversations became more like white noise to me. But when we arrived in Atlanta's airport for our trip home for the holidays, I could understand every conversation around me and it was like information overload for my brain!

When I am in Germany and I hear English, it jumps out at me and I think, "Americans!" so in Atlanta, my brain kept saying, "Americans, Americans, Americans!!!" It was crazy and took me about two days to adjust back to normal where I didn't really notice background conversations anymore.

A Gift from My Students

Today was my last teaching day before the holidays and I was so pleased that one student brought me a chocolate St. Nick and another handed me a small box wrapped with shiny green paper and a nice gold bow on top. The wrapping job wasn't so great, but it was from an older guy so I figured his wife does the wrapping at home and he probably doesn't get much practice. :-)

I must take a minute to tell you that all of my students are VERY different from one another. Some are quiet, others are boisterous. Some are technical, others are artsy. Some are very serious, others are class clowns! Well, the wrapped gift came from one of my jokester students, so before I opened it, I asked, "Is anything going to pop out at me?" He laughed and then said, "no" as if I was accusing him of not being genuine in his gift-giving motive.

So I slowly took off the bow and untaped the gift wrap on the sides to unveil a small cardboard box about 6 inches on each side. There was a lid on top taped shut, so I carefully pulled back the tape to peak inside...and IMMEDIATELY closed the box and taped it shut again! My heart was pounding, after I discovered a live mouse starring back at me with his two beady little eyes!! All I could think was, "Thank goodness I didn't drop the box when I saw him!"

Another girl in class asked what was in the box, so I slid it to her and said, "open it carefully." She had no idea what was in it, but opened the box and wasn't frightened at all. She started talking to the little guy saying how cute he was!

I never forget that the culture here is different from home, so while I assumed the gift was a joke, I couldn't be too sure! The student who gave the mouse to me then told me he had found the mouse this morning, so he decided to catch it and give it to me as a gift (only as a joke I had finally figured out). He asked if I wanted to take the little guy home or if he should let the mouse go outside. I opted for the latter, but took one more look at the little guy before we parted ways.

Oh, how I love my students!!!

Could You Open the Window?

We have below freezing temperatures here and yet every day we still open the windows in the morning!

There are very strict construction rules for building houses here in Germany and builders must use the most energy efficient methods and materials possible. Their walls and windows are so thick that nothing, and I mean nothing, can escape through them. That means the humidity in the house is trapped, which is why every day for about 5-10 minutes, we have to open the windows in each room to let the moisture out or else it collects on the window sills in little puddles.

I think America must have the opposite problem because all the homes I lived in there were super dry in the winter. We needed humidifiers and lots of chapstick to make it through the dry months!

It was quite strange adjusting to opening the windows in freezing weather here, but I've learned to throw on a sweater and just get it over with early!

Little Ice Cubes

The Christmas markets are amazing here, but it's been below freezing these past two weeks! Every time we go to one, we stay for two or three hours and by the time we pack up to leave, my toes are like little ice cubes. After the first day of only wearing two little cotton pairs of socks with some leather boots (intended for fall, not winter), I learned to steal Alfons' wool socks when we planned on freezing our butts (and toes) off at another Christmas market. I also invested in some decent, but not outstanding, snow boots that are fuzzy on the inside to help keep my little tootsies warmer. These boots are far better than the other ones at least.

So far, we've been to our little village market, plus bigger ones in Heidelberg, Stuttgart, Tubingen and Herrenberg. We still plan to hit Ludwigsberg and Esslingen before they close too, so I'd better invest in more warm socks and start saving my coins for the hot Kinderpunsch (kid's punch) since I'm not a huge fan of the Gluwein (hot spiced wine) here. (I liked Gluwein in the States, but I think they secretly added sugar!)

Most of the markets here sell the same things in every village (ornaments, gloves, hats, wooden Santas, candles, carved bowls, etc), but we were pleasantly surprised when we visited Tubingen yesterday. It's a college town and is one of our favorite places because the history is amazing and beautiful. It's a very earth friendly place too...lots of bikes, dreadlocks and artists. The booths were awesome with tons of homemade decorations, jewelry and clothes. It was great to finally see some unique gifts and goodies for the house.

And the food is great at EVERY market. The waffles, pretzels, sugar-coated almonds, sauerkraut, wurst, kasespaetzle (cheese noodles), chocolate-covered fruit on a stick, maultauschen (meat ravioli), chili, pumpkin soup...I could go on and on...it's all delicious!

I have an idea!!! Next year, you should come visit in December for the Christmas markets! They're like nothing else in the world and you would love it!

Weihnachtsmarkt Zeit (Christmas Market Time)

This is the first weekend for most Christmas markets in our area and our tiny little village was having their one-day event today. I wanted to go at 11am to see the kindergarten kids sing songs together and then buy a few small things to support the local schools and sports clubs who had booths at the event. After nearly 50 euros escaped our pockets as we circled the 20 booths about eight times, we decided it was time to go!

Alfons was laughing at me as we walked home because I was SOOOO cold. We had been there nearly two and a half hours in near-freezing weather, so I had to jog slowly in order to feel my toes. I explained to him that Americans have Christmas bizarres, but that they are INDOOR events. Most Americans wouldn't stand for this "outdoor shopping in the snow" thing...not in my area of America anyway!

I'm sure some of you might be thinking, "but the hot spiced wine they serve would help you stay warm." It does, but only for a few minutes. Holding the hot mug in your hands is nice, but after the wine is gone, you have to stand in line again (in the cold) to get another cup and they never serve people fast enough to keep everybody warm!

My 6-Month Check-In

Tuesday, Nov 16 was my 6-month anniversary of arriving in Germany! I thought it would be a good time to share some memories and general thoughts of the transition.

In the beginning, grocery shopping by myself was scary since I didn't know the words for any foods. At least most packaging shows the pictures, right? That was a lifesaver! However, I have lost about 13 pounds since I arrived in May. That's partially because I walk more here...partially because there's no fast food in our village or nearby villages...partially because I'm eating more healthier, fresher foods...partially because the portions aren't ridiculously big here...partially because I live close enough to walk to the grocery and can get fresh stuff every two-three days...partially because Alfons is a good cook so we don't need to go out to eat often...and partially because I decided not to buy ANY crappy food like frozen dinners, meals-in-a-can, and microwave-ready things like I lived on in the States. I usually eat small things throughout the whole day, like applesauce, cheese and crackers, pickles, grapes, or anything else I can find in the pantry. But I haven't given up ice cream! Alfons jokes that my middle name is "ice cream." :-)

Learning to drive was so stressful. I made LOTS of mistakes in the beginning, but thank goodness for other people's defensive driving (and walking)! I drove though some lights I shouldn't have, drove past some pedestrian crosswalks I shouldn't have, and parked in places that weren't allowed. I'm pretty lucky that nothing bad happened those first couple months. Now that I have my official German license and have learned the rules, the roads near our village are much safer for other people!

My German is still not any good, but I can do what I have to do. A couple weeks ago I needed to change a doctor's appointment, so I called and made the change in German! Then, I had to go to the doctor's appointment by myself to get some shots. I was so proud that I went through the process alone and used what little German I knew to get through the situation. That was a pretty big milestone for me!

I can now talk to the little kids in the neighborhood pretty well too. I can at least ask how their day is, if they are having fun, what they're eating for lunch or dinner, what's wrong if they're crying, etc. When I first moved here, all the neighbor kids just looked at me funny when I couldn't understand their German. The moms told them I spoke English, but that's pretty hard to grasp for a 2- or 4-year old, I think. Now they're used to me asking them to repeat things, but I can pick up most of it or just play along, once I know they're telling me about a firetruck they saw or a big tractor that drove past! (I know the words for firetruck and tractor, which helps!)

So, now I'll open the floor for questions. Anyone want to post something they'd like to ask about? :-)

German Driving License Update

My day began with an alarm at 6am, so I could make it to my 7:30 English class, which was 30 minutes away. Because I had my driving test later in the day, I asked to cancel the last of my three classes at that company. Unfortunately, when one student got the message that his 10:30am English class was cancelled, he told ALL my students, so only one person showed up at 7:30. That student said he was very busy at the office anyway, so he suggested I go home and get ready for my one o'clock driving test instead of teaching him that morning. So I did just that.

And by "get ready," I assumed he meant take a nap so you are well-rested for the test, which is what I did. THEN, I got up and studied my 11 pages of notes for a bit and took one last practice test (#16) before driving to the testing center.

Oh, a driving test isn't so hard, you say???  You try learning all the differences of driving in Germany and then tell me it's easy!!!

1) There are no stop signs in villages, so the "right before left" rule ALWAYS applies.
2) There are different parking rules inside of villages vs. outside of villages.
3) Most speed limits here aren't posted, but everyone knows them based on other signs (like when you enter a village, you can't go more than 50km/hr).
4) Germans are extremely environmentally conscious so some of the questions ask how to minimize pollution, decrease fuel consumption and maintain your exhaust system properly.
5) In general, Germans like to judge people. In fact, the answer for some questions concerning someone's behavior is "it creates doubt about his/her character."
6) All Germans are engineers (ok...maybe not all...but many), so there are lots of technical questions about the vehicle's shock absorbers, brakes, wheel suspension-springs, steering axle, transmission (manual and automatic), catalytic converter, etc. And that's all new to me!!!
7) There are lots of traffic signs that are in German with no pictures, so I had to learn differences between a Liefer (delivery) and an Anlieger (resident).

Unfortunately, when I started the test, I didn't know the answer to the first question. My heart sunk! So I "marked" it and moved on to the next question since I could come back later. Thank goodness the second question was in my memory bank and so were the next few. At the end of the 30 questions, I had marked four to return to for a second look. (Note: You can miss up to 10 points, but each question is worth a different number of points from 2-5.) So I counted up the points for the ones I was guessing and if I missed more than two of them, I would fail. But I gave it my best shot and hit the submit button. Out of the 11 people in the room taking the test, I was dead last to finish, but that was okay by me. When the instructor told me to hit the next button on my screen to see my score, I took a deep breathe and said a little prayer. The whole screen was green, which meant I didn't miss ANY!!! WOO HOO!!!!

After the test, I drove straight to the county driving office with my form saying I passed the test and a nice letter Alfons wrote the day before. It said (in German), "I just passed my driving test and tomorrow's the last day I can drive with my American driving license. I would be grateful if you could process this paperwork as quickly as possible so I can get my German driving license soon. Thank you very much." I had been told during my last visit to the county office that the processing would take at least 2-3 days. The lady at the county office read the letter, asked for my passport, then went to the back to get some papers. She came back out and asked me to sign here and here, then asked for my Indiana license. I handed it to her and she handed me my German license. I was in shock! I stuttered, "Uh, can I take this today?" She smiled and said yes. I jumped up and down and said, "Danke, danke, danke, danke!!!!"

And thus, the driving license adventure has come to an end. Thank goodness!

My Sister's Birthday Wishes

Thank God for my sister!!!

This past weekend was horrible with tax paperwork problems, a back problem that wouldn't let me walk straight, having to say goodbye to a friend leaving Germany to go back home to the States, and the day I have to give up my US driving license is fast approaching. UGH!

BUT...today's my sister's Birthday and she MUST have sent some of her good wishes my way, because today everything turned around!

I had no back pain when I woke up, my morning classes went very well, and then this afternoon I got some new information about my taxes that may straighten all the weekend problems out! I got all my lesson plan preparations done for Tuesday and Wednesday (way ahead of schedule), and my evening class went great with a student telling me during the break that he really enjoys my teaching style! Then when I got home, I had a message saying my driving license paperwork had been approved (after only 3 weeks) and now I can schedule my written test for Monday (hopefully)! YAY!!!

My license expires on the 16th, so if I pass the test on the first try I can probably get my license by the end of the month, which is way better than closer to Christmas (or worse...after Christmas), which is what I was expecting. This means I may only need the city buses for a few weeks!

So now it's time to study, study, study, because I can't afford to lose two or three weeks due to failing the driving test. There are more than 900 questions to learn and the rules in Germany are not so similar to those in the States. There are no stop signs here, so the car coming from the right always has the right-of-way unless you're on a "priority road." Try retraining your brain for that stuff...no fun!

Anyway...so thanks to my sister for sharing her Birthday wishes with me this year! I hope she received much more than I did today!!! I love you, sis!

A Constant Anxiety

Lately I've been feeling a constant, low level of anxiety that won't go away. It's hard to put my finger on exactly where it comes from and why it won't go away, but it's a general sensation of feeling out of my element here in Germany.

Unfortunately, I still haven't learned enough of the language yet to feel confident talking to strangers, whether it's the gas station attendant (no outside credit card pumps), grocery store cashier, clerk at a mall store, or anywhere else. And while I thought the anxiety level would lessen over time, it's actually gotten worse because at first I could just act like a tourist, but now I feel compelled to say as much as I can in German and explain that I am still learning (and not fast enough I might add).

So I mentioned this nagging anxiety to a friend from Ireland and she emailed me some great links about the real definition and diagnosis of culture shock. While most people think of a spontaneous, quick event when they hear the word "shock," this type is actually an ongoing condition and it has multiple phases. It seems I'm through the "honeymoon" or "tourist" phase where everything is fun because it's new and exciting. Now I'm in the "negotiation" phase where "that sense of excitement eventually gives way to new and unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as I continue to have unfavorable encounters."

I've been here almost six months now and I hope to reach the "adjustment" phase very soon, which typically occurs between the six- and twelve-month time period. For some things, I have reached this level where I feel like the German behavior or expectations are "normal," but for the most part I'm stuck in that previous phase where things are very strange and sometimes offensive.

A big challenge for me is the directness of the German culture. As you know, I'm an overly friendly person and I smile a lot. I would never say "give me that pen." I, like most Americans, am more indirect and say, "If you wouldn't mind, could I please borrow your pen if you're not using it?" That drives the Germans crazy because they think I'm using too many words (and too much time) to request something simple. They aren't offended if you say "give me that pen." That's the norm here, but for me it's still very strange.

So after I read the great articles online about culture shock, I felt much better the rest of the day. I even drove to a friend's house this evening and could feel the difference in my stress level when I was driving. I think driving is when I feel the most anxiety, because I'm still not confident about the driving rules and signs. Maybe after I get my German driving license, that will assure me that I know enough to be safe on the road. We'll see if there's a change at that point.

There are more phases in the culture shock continuum, but maybe I'll come back to those in a few months when I get closer to reaching them. If you're interested in reading a bit more about true culture shock, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock.

Weekend in Strasbourg France

No time to blog today, but I feel bad that I haven't written anything in a while! I haven't put the photos on my computer yet, but here's a little info about our quick trip to France.

This weekend we went to Strasbourg France, which is just on the other side of the French/German border. That area was part of Germany many years ago and it's a great blend of both cultures. The architecture was beautiful with mostly half-timbered houses that most Americans would mistake for the "English Tudor" style homes. If you google both, you'll see the difference.

The food was amazing! We had great French wine, their version of pizza with no red sauce called Tarte Flambee (the Germans call it flammkuchen), a Cordon Bleu sandwich, crepes, croissants, french bread baguettes, riesling-covered chicken, and more! And while I claim my favorite food is cheese, I now need to add a disclaimer to that, because when we ordered a lovely cheese plate at the first restaurant, I couldn't eat three out of the five cheeses on the plate. They were all soft and I've now learned I'm not such a big fan of most of those.

And the Stress Builds

While some people have commented that I'm "leaving a dream" here in Germany, some days are actually a nightmare. I absolutely love being here, but this week has not been so grand and the stress continues to build!

1. You may have read my driving license post last week and here's an update. While I have done everything I could so far to get the needed materials completed as quickly as possible, I found out on Friday morning that there really is NO WAY I'm going to get my license by my November 16 deadline. That means I'm going to have to beg for rides from friends and figure out a way to get around this rural area of SW Germany via public transportation. The local driving office said they have all my materials, but they have to send it to an office in Northern Germany for approval, which takes 3-4 weeks. I heard from someone else that it usually takes 6-8 weeks, and there's nothing I can do to expedite it. I just have to wait!!! To top that off, I heard that 30% of people fail the test the first time, so I'm freaking out because if I don't pass it, I'll have to go at least another 2-3 weeks with no license.

2. I'm starting some new Business English classes soon and one language school I work for has said I'm one of their top trainers right now and they are choosing only the very important clients for me. Sounds good, right? Sure, except I found out on Friday that newest group, which I'm meeting on Tuesday, has had English training for a few years, but they weren't happy with the quality anymore, so now they've hired my language school to take over. I thought that wasn't a big deal, but since the company has always hired their own trainers directly (not through a language school), the HR Manager at the company asked for the training profile of each new trainer. NOT THE RESUME, JUST THE TRAINING PROFILE. I've only been training for four weeks and I have no official certifications for it! My manager said, "We know you're a great trainer, but the HR Manager at the company is very skeptical of your skills because you aren't certified and you don't have much experience. She's going to be in your first class, so please do a really good job and prove her wrong." No pressure there!!! "Oh, and by the way," my manager says, "don't use the books on the first day because we don't want students to write in them in case they want to switch classes, so just do a lesson with no book that day." Lovely.

3. It's getting cold here...very cold...and we're already seeing ice on the cars and roads. Thursday morning there were several accidents in our area due to black ice, which if you didn't already know, scares the crap out of me, because in March 2008, I hit a patch of black ice in Indianapolis and ran into a guard rail. My car and I weren't in too bad of shape, but my nerves when driving in cold weather are totally out of whack now. Every time I see a guard rail, I can picture myself slamming into it! I'm uncontrollably nervous when I have to drive on slightly wet roads and I'm also nervous when I'm riding with other people in those conditions. It's so stupid that I can't get past the anxiety, but it won't go away and I almost feel like it's worse here in Germany because I'm not familiar with my car's handling capabilities and I still have basic nerves every time I drive due to the different driving rules and my assumption that I'm going to do something wrong and have an accident. Plus, since I'm driving Alfons' Yaris, I have the added stress of damaging someone ELSE'S car and not just my own! He assures me that German cars are the best and that we won't slide off the road, but soon after saying that he reminds me to be very careful in the mornings when the temperatures are near freezing. I know I should always be careful when I'm driving, but how am I supposed to not worry? It's an impossible balancing act!!!

4. While it's not a big deal for most people in the States, the Euro/US Dollar currency exchange rate is going crazy and that's a VERY big deal for me right now. Since I'm earning euros here in Germany, it's nice that the exchange rate is high at 1.39 (that means it costs $1.39 to buy 1 euro). But until I get my paychecks, it's not a good thing! This summer the rate was as low at 1.19, which was great because I was living off the US dollars I brought with me from the States. Exchanging those dollars for euros wasn't SO expensive, but now I'm paying a crazy amount for the same one euro! The stress I have today regarding this currency exchange rate is that since I didn't start working until Sept 20, my paychecks in October are very small, so I have to keep pulling money out of my US bank account for expenses. One school I work for pays on the 12th of the next month, but the other school doesn't pay until the 26th of the next month. Today's the 23rd, so I haven't even received my September check from the second school yet and it will only be for two weeks of training anyway! So while I'm working my tail off this month, I'll get a little check (from school #1) on November12th, but my main check (from school #2) won't come until NOVEMBER 26th!!! I thought since I started working in September that the currency exchange rate hike wouldn't be a big deal, but it's a huge deal since I am forced to exchange money until I can get caught up in a month or so.

5. And finally, there's little to no sugar coating here in Germany. As you probably know, most Germans are very direct and that's something that's hard for me to get used to. When I have these stressful situations and my mom's not here to say, "it'll be okay," I have to hear, "that's the way it works here," from my German friends. There's not a lot of, "you can do it" or "hang in there" talk, which is extremely detrimental to my self-confidence right now.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and I keep reminding myself that in January, I'll look back and all of these stories will be laughable. Let's hope so anyway...

Note: I am totally aware that many people have far more stress in their lives than I have right now and that I have it REALLY good here in my dream land. But those who follow my blog have said they want to hear the ups and downs of this adventure, and I like use this blog as therapy sometimes as well. :-) So thanks for reading and send some good thoughts my way this week if you have a minute or two.

Homesick?

I wouldn't call it homesick just yet, but I MISS MY MOM!!!!!!!!

While I wasn't working this summer, I had the luxury of talking to my family (and particularly my mom) nearly anytime I wanted. With my helpful US-based Skype phone number, I can talk to everyone at home for free from 4,500 miles away...nice! The problem is, now I'm working and trying to catch people in the States with this 6-hour time difference is a nightmare!

When I get up in the mornings, everyone's sleeping at home. Then I have to go to work and by the time I get home from work, everyone else is at THEIR work. If I'm lucky, I can catch people at 4 or 5 o'clock their time, just before I go to bed and just after they leave work. But that only happens once or twice a week and some people are still impossible to catch.

Why not call people on the weekends, you ask? Since Alfons works outside Germany during the week, I only have the weekends to spend time with him. I would love to chat with people on Saturdays and Sundays, but usually Alfons and I are out and about, and when we're home, I don't want to spend too much time sitting at my laptop, when I know he'll be gone again on Monday morning!

We just booked our tickets to the States for the holidays and Christmas can't get here soon enough...I need a mother-daughter hug!!!

Important Note: I also miss my dad, sister, niece, extended family and friends....but it's a girl thing to cry for mommy first! :-)

A Few More Things

Here are few more things that take some getting used to here...

Light switches are upside down.
Toilets are tankless and don't touch the ground.
Stoplights turn yellow before going red AND before going green.
Keyboards have the @ symbol on the Q key, not the 2 key.
There are no 4-way stops. Instead the person coming from the right has right-of-way.

To Drive or Not to Drive

I knew I had six months to transfer my drivers license from an American one to a German one, but until now, I've had more important priorities. I thought it was silly to switch my license before I got my permission to work, because if I wasn't able to work, I would have to go back to the States and wouldn't need a German drivers license. Once I got my permission to work, I was so busy planning the lessons for my 30 hours of teaching each week, that I didn't have time to worry about much else.

Knowing that Nov 16 (my six-month mark) wasn't too far off, Alfons suggested I start studying for the driving test in early September. (My Indiana license only exempts me from the practical, on-road driving test, but not the written one. Thank goodness they offer the written test in English, although I still have to be able to read the German road signs.) So I bought a training CD in mid-September and started to go through the 900+ questions I have to master for the test. I thought studying would be the most time-intensive part, so that's where I stopped...for a bit.

Last week, Alfons suggested I go to the local county driving office to find out how the license transfer process works since he couldn't get any answers online or over the phone. So his sister and I went to the driving office (similar to the BMV) at 7am on Thursday when they opened. Luckily, we were the first ones in line, so we only had to wait a few minutes for the staff to get ready for business, then his sister explained my situation to the worker. While I couldn't understand what they were saying in German, I knew it wasn't good because their body language was not what I wanted to see. After a few minutes of wondering what was happening, his sister finally turned to me and said, there's a lot to do and the lady doesn't think you can get it done in four weeks by Nov 16. :-(

It turned out there were several steps including;

1) Get a paper stamped by the foreign office where I got my residence permit
2) Have my American drivers license translated by a certified translator
3) Return those items to the driving office to wait for an approval to take the written test
4) Schedule the written test (after approval)
5) Take the written test
6) Wait for the results to be returned to the driving office
7) Wait for the driving office to process the results and make my license
8) Pick up license!

The worker at the driving office said each step averages two weeks, and that it would be VERY unlikely that I get my license by the Nov 16 deadline.

While we knew the probable outcome, we wanted to get the process started as soon as we left the driving office that day, so we went across the street to the foreign office, but of course they didn't open until 8:30 and it was only 7:20. Alfons' sister needed to get to work, so she couldn't wait any longer. I suggested we knock on the door just to see if anyone was working early and sure enough, there was someone!!! She wasn't quick to help us, but once we explained that all we needed was a little stamp and five minutes of her time, she obliged. Step 1 complete!!!

Then Alfons' sister called the local auto club that does translations (since the driving office suggested this route), but they said it really would take nearly two weeks to get the translation. About the same time she made that call, I remembered a friend of mine in Stuttgart works for a translation company. Surely they have a "certified translator" for official government documents, I thought. So I contacted my friend that day (Thursday) and she said she could get me what I needed by Wednesday. Hallelujah!!! Step 2 in the works!!!

Sorry to end the story here, but that's as far as we've gotten...

I'm cautiously optimistic that we can expedite this process, although I'm already researching back-up ways to get to my training classes if I don't have a license for a few weeks. While I can work hard to speed up the first few steps of the process, I have no control over the length of time needed for the last few steps and will be at the mercy of the testing place and driving office.

Keep your fingers crossed for me and I'll be sure to post an updated story once the license is in-hand!

The Blood Drive

I've always wanted to donate blood, but figured it wasn't going to happen, because whenever I've had simple blood tests done at the doctor (where he only needs a little tube), I've always gotten lightheaded and nearly passed out. I assumed giving a big ol' bag would just do me in!

Alfons, on the other hand, is a pro at giving blood and since he was doing it last week, I thought I should give it a try too. Plus, I had some added motivation because my sister needed blood a couple years ago after a birthing complication and so I felt even more compelled to at least give it a try!

So...last Friday, Alfons and I went to a little community building in a nearby village that was having a Red Cross Blood Drive (or Blood Spend as they say in Germany). I was nervous on the way there thinking of the few times I'd been lightheaded when I gave little bits of blood in the past, so I warned Alfons that I wasn't 100% sure I could do it.

When we arrived, we got the paperwork to sign in (in German of course, which always makes me stressed), then we sat in a hallway where the doctors had little temporary offices to talk one-on-one to each patient. As we sat and waited, I began to recall the event two years ago when my sister needed blood after giving birth to my perfect little niece. Those emotions welled up in me and I couldn't hold back a tear or two. Alfons had no idea why I was crying and just said, "you don't have to give blood if you don't want." I answered, "I WANT to, but it's so scary!"

Alfons and I assumed we could go in to talk to one doctor together (so he could translate), but when the first available doctor said "next," she said only one person could go in at a time. That doctor said she didn't speak English very well, but assumed one of the other doctors would, so Alfons went with her and left me in the hall by myself! My stress level continued to rise as I didn't know what this doctor was going to ask me or even if he/she would speak English very well.

So the next door opened and I went in slowly. "Sprechen Sie Englisch?" I asked. "Oh, a little bit. Come on in and sit down," he said. It turned out that his English was excellent and he had a son living in Boston. He told me all about his son's triplets who are seven and how his son can't visit Europe so much since he only gets a few weeks of vacation time per year (silly Americans!). My visit with that doctor ended up just fine, but I was still super nervous and we hadn't even gone to the room where all the needles and empty bags were!

So Alfons was waiting for me outside and we walked upstairs together. The doctor had told me to drink some Coke before I gave blood because I hadn't drank enough that day yet, so Alfons and I went to the little drink station, poured me a big glass of Coke and sat down for a break. Unfortunately, I don't drink Coke very often and the bubbles made my stomach hurt. That didn't help my nerves any.

After I finished my soda, we walked into the donation room and there were lots of people laying on little cots giving blood and other people over at a table reading the newspaper with their arms held above their heads. I tried not to look at any of the people laying down just in case it would make me woozy, so I walked with Alfons straight over to the nursing table to get my finger pricked. Again, I thought Alfons and I could do that part together so he could translate, but they separated us and the lady who pricked my finger didn't speak English. I didn't mind the prick, but she started talking to me in German, which I couldn't understand, and when I looked over for Alfons' help translating, he was too far away to hear me.

At that moment, I couldn't play strong anymore. I started crying (quietly) and another nurse came over to me and said (in English), "It's okay. You don't have to give blood today. Come back another time." I told them I just needed a few minutes to calm down because I REALLY wanted to give blood, but by that time, they had taken my paperwork away and told Alfons I couldn't give blood because I was too upset. Alfons said they don't want anyone to feel forced to do it, and I understand that, but I just wanted a few minutes to get hold of my nerves and then try again. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option at that point.

Alfons still wanted to give blood while we were there, so the English-speaking nurse suggested I go with him and watch so I know how it works. She showed me how they measure the amount and calculate the time, then let me sit on her nursing stool. That was good, because going through the motions this time will surely ease my nerves for the next try.

After seven and a half minutes, Alfons was done and we walked over to the newspaper reading table. I noticed it was mostly guys and just one girl. I assumed more girls gave blood than guys, but now that I've been through it, I suppose guys do it more because they're stronger. But Alfons said I'm the strongest chicken he knows! :-)

Next time, I'm GOING to give blood...and I'm going to get a sticker too!!!