I couldn't sleep last night and was watching Oprah at midnight (in English with German subtitles). The show was about how marriage differs around the world. They interviewed Indian couples whose marriages had been arranged, Ukraine women who had found husbands through mail-order-bride websites, and Egyptian women who must go to court to get divorced while their husbands can merely exclaim they want a divorce three times out loud and it's done. The cultural differences were extreme and I was amazed to learn that 60% of marriages across the world are arranged with only a "hope" of loving your spouse someday. That's quite far from the American "marry of love" mantra.
Oprah also interviewed the author of "Eat, Pray, Love" who just published a new book called "Committed." The author explained that a "traditional" marriage in America is what we all picture from the '50s, but that this "traditional" marriage is merely a fairytale. She said most marriages today are "wifeless." The moms want to work and be equal, but the men don't want to pick up any of the slack while she's at the office. Everyone wants to be married, but no one wants to be the "wife" anymore.
Some folks also discussed the broader idea that many people (both men and women) don't want to fulfill the "traditional" roles in a marriage, but they still expect their partners to fulfill the role of the opposite sex. This leads to many disappointed people in the end.
As I'm inching toward 30 and considering what my future will hold, this was an extremely eye-opening perspective and explanation of a "traditional" marriage. Lots to think about.
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