When I moved out on my own in May and realized I might not be in Germany much longer, I reached out to some friends who I thought would really enjoying visiting while I was still there. Unfortunately, most of my friends either have kids, no extra play money or not enough vacation time available to jump on a plane to Germany with little notice, but one of my guy friends, who happened to be an ex from many years ago, was interested. I figured he would be because he loves fast cars, nature and good beer, which is why I reached out to invite him! (Please understand there were no other intentions regarding the invitation.)
So I invited him about four weeks in advance of the perfect timing to have visitors and he proceeded to explain that he had just started dating someone and that if it got serious quickly, it could be awkward that he was visiting an ex in Germany while dating someone else. Without hesitation I said, "bring her!" So after explaining the opportunity to her (starting with "I know this sounds crazy, but...") and spending four days convincing her the invitation was real, she finally agreed to join him.
A few weeks later, they arrived and 90% of the trip was great. She's really smart, considerate, funny...really great! My only frustration was that I was forced to act like the guy was a stranger. After making a few comments when he arrived about how much he would love Germany (for the reasons mentioned above), he came to me while she was in the shower and said, "You know me much better than she does since we haven't been dating very long, so..." I finished his sentence by saying, "...so don't rub it in, right?" I was right on target. While I certainly wasn't planning to bring up our past experiences from the two and half years we were together saying "remember when we...," I felt like I had to play dumb and act as though I didn't know the people he was telling stories about or the fact that he hates onions. I couldn't ask how his family was doing or if his little brother liked college. I also couldn't talk about my family or friends without explaining the relationships (i.e. my sister Leah) in fear that it would look like he already knew my friends and family fairly well, which he did.
Also, I had this nagging feeling that she didn't WANT to like me. I felt like anytime we had differing opinions, she was quick to tell me why she disagreed, which was fine, but she seemed quite competitive about it. And I'm just not a competitive person, in general, so you can have your opinion and I'll have mine. The world will still turn, despite our two different perspectives.
So a week or so after their visit, I spoke with the guy, thanked him for visiting and wished him luck in his new relationship. I mentioned my disappointment in not getting to catch up with him as old friends typically would and he understood. I also told him how great I thought his new girlfriend was and he responded saying, "She didn't want to like you. But she did." Hmmmm....I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to interpret a comment like that.
But, alas, what did I expect when I invited an ex and his new girlfriend to go on a road trip through Switzerland for four days together??? Awkwardness aside, I'm so glad I had the opportunity to walk away with some great memories from that incredible road trip!
No comments:
Post a Comment