And the Stress Builds

While some people have commented that I'm "leaving a dream" here in Germany, some days are actually a nightmare. I absolutely love being here, but this week has not been so grand and the stress continues to build!

1. You may have read my driving license post last week and here's an update. While I have done everything I could so far to get the needed materials completed as quickly as possible, I found out on Friday morning that there really is NO WAY I'm going to get my license by my November 16 deadline. That means I'm going to have to beg for rides from friends and figure out a way to get around this rural area of SW Germany via public transportation. The local driving office said they have all my materials, but they have to send it to an office in Northern Germany for approval, which takes 3-4 weeks. I heard from someone else that it usually takes 6-8 weeks, and there's nothing I can do to expedite it. I just have to wait!!! To top that off, I heard that 30% of people fail the test the first time, so I'm freaking out because if I don't pass it, I'll have to go at least another 2-3 weeks with no license.

2. I'm starting some new Business English classes soon and one language school I work for has said I'm one of their top trainers right now and they are choosing only the very important clients for me. Sounds good, right? Sure, except I found out on Friday that newest group, which I'm meeting on Tuesday, has had English training for a few years, but they weren't happy with the quality anymore, so now they've hired my language school to take over. I thought that wasn't a big deal, but since the company has always hired their own trainers directly (not through a language school), the HR Manager at the company asked for the training profile of each new trainer. NOT THE RESUME, JUST THE TRAINING PROFILE. I've only been training for four weeks and I have no official certifications for it! My manager said, "We know you're a great trainer, but the HR Manager at the company is very skeptical of your skills because you aren't certified and you don't have much experience. She's going to be in your first class, so please do a really good job and prove her wrong." No pressure there!!! "Oh, and by the way," my manager says, "don't use the books on the first day because we don't want students to write in them in case they want to switch classes, so just do a lesson with no book that day." Lovely.

3. It's getting cold here...very cold...and we're already seeing ice on the cars and roads. Thursday morning there were several accidents in our area due to black ice, which if you didn't already know, scares the crap out of me, because in March 2008, I hit a patch of black ice in Indianapolis and ran into a guard rail. My car and I weren't in too bad of shape, but my nerves when driving in cold weather are totally out of whack now. Every time I see a guard rail, I can picture myself slamming into it! I'm uncontrollably nervous when I have to drive on slightly wet roads and I'm also nervous when I'm riding with other people in those conditions. It's so stupid that I can't get past the anxiety, but it won't go away and I almost feel like it's worse here in Germany because I'm not familiar with my car's handling capabilities and I still have basic nerves every time I drive due to the different driving rules and my assumption that I'm going to do something wrong and have an accident. Plus, since I'm driving Alfons' Yaris, I have the added stress of damaging someone ELSE'S car and not just my own! He assures me that German cars are the best and that we won't slide off the road, but soon after saying that he reminds me to be very careful in the mornings when the temperatures are near freezing. I know I should always be careful when I'm driving, but how am I supposed to not worry? It's an impossible balancing act!!!

4. While it's not a big deal for most people in the States, the Euro/US Dollar currency exchange rate is going crazy and that's a VERY big deal for me right now. Since I'm earning euros here in Germany, it's nice that the exchange rate is high at 1.39 (that means it costs $1.39 to buy 1 euro). But until I get my paychecks, it's not a good thing! This summer the rate was as low at 1.19, which was great because I was living off the US dollars I brought with me from the States. Exchanging those dollars for euros wasn't SO expensive, but now I'm paying a crazy amount for the same one euro! The stress I have today regarding this currency exchange rate is that since I didn't start working until Sept 20, my paychecks in October are very small, so I have to keep pulling money out of my US bank account for expenses. One school I work for pays on the 12th of the next month, but the other school doesn't pay until the 26th of the next month. Today's the 23rd, so I haven't even received my September check from the second school yet and it will only be for two weeks of training anyway! So while I'm working my tail off this month, I'll get a little check (from school #1) on November12th, but my main check (from school #2) won't come until NOVEMBER 26th!!! I thought since I started working in September that the currency exchange rate hike wouldn't be a big deal, but it's a huge deal since I am forced to exchange money until I can get caught up in a month or so.

5. And finally, there's little to no sugar coating here in Germany. As you probably know, most Germans are very direct and that's something that's hard for me to get used to. When I have these stressful situations and my mom's not here to say, "it'll be okay," I have to hear, "that's the way it works here," from my German friends. There's not a lot of, "you can do it" or "hang in there" talk, which is extremely detrimental to my self-confidence right now.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and I keep reminding myself that in January, I'll look back and all of these stories will be laughable. Let's hope so anyway...

Note: I am totally aware that many people have far more stress in their lives than I have right now and that I have it REALLY good here in my dream land. But those who follow my blog have said they want to hear the ups and downs of this adventure, and I like use this blog as therapy sometimes as well. :-) So thanks for reading and send some good thoughts my way this week if you have a minute or two.